I talked to my sister on the phone today. It was refreshing to talk to her. We talked about my mom, about my vegan diet, and about my worries with telling my parents about it.
I asked her if she had a hard time with telling them when she turned vegetarian. She just laughed! “Oh Maria, you worry too much!! You need to worry about important stuff, like your kids…not what other people think!”
She’s right. I worry too much, especially over what people think. I think that’s my biggest issue with Facebook. When I post something, I want to know if it was liked. I want that validation. I enjoy the comments on pictures I post.
But I don’t like that I feel I need that validation. For instance, if no one ‘likes’ my post, it doesn’t matter. My mind knows this. But it stings in my heart, and I feel rejected. Why? I don’t know.
I told her my new Lent thing should be to quit worrying over what people think! She laughed and agreed.
I don’t know if I mentioned this in previous posts, but this Facebook fast is hard. The first few days, I was checking my phone probably ten-fifteen times a day. Then I realized the app was gone. Fifteen times a day! Now I know it’s off, and I don’t check it so often, but the tug is still there. God reminded me today that I am feeling the tug because I’m not filling that time in how I said I would, by spending it with Him or investing in my kids. I spend it wondering what people are doing or posting, and wondering what other apps I can put on my phone to pass the time.
I need to spend this time renewing my mind in God’s validation of me, not of some witty comment or picture I take. I don’t know if I’ll return to Facebook when I’m done. Maybe. I just want to make sure that whatever I do, that I can honestly say about myself, “What, me worry?” at the end of the day.