My Own Way

I was watching a sermon on YouTube last night by Matt Chandler. I had never heard of the preacher before, but a friend emailed me this video to watch, and despite it being 58 minutes, I watched it.

It was called, “The Explicit Gospel”, in case you wanted to look it up. Basically, he talked about how many people who go to church or who have grown up in church do not understand the gospel.

One question he asked toward the beginning was, “Am I trying to find fullness of joy and fullness of life my own way?” Of course I said “No”…at first.

Yesterday was a lazy day, where lack of sleep the night before ruled my decisions that day. I really didn’t do much, and binge watched shows on Netflix all day. I did not work out. I did not have quiet time with the Lord. I did manage to finish the school day…barely. By the time Adam woke up for work at 4 pm, I was quite grumpy.

You would think watching funny sitcoms on Netflix would cheer me up, right? After all, laughter is good for the soul.

After I watched that sermon, God gently convicted my heart. I had recently told a friend that I needed to discipline myself in quiet time again. I needed to be more prayerful, I needed to read His Word more, and I needed to play more worship music in my house while I tended it. I need to draw closer to Him, and in doing so, my life and joy will be full.

I answered the question Matt Chandler asked “No”, because I was thinking of the obvious things: I don’t get drunk to find joy, I don’t partake in addictive behavior (like shopping) to find joy. I’m a pretty simple person. BUT, how often do I escape online to find joy? How often do I binge watch shows on Netflix (addictive behavior??) instead of talking to God about what is bugging me? How often do I eat comfort food, to avoid the stress or to just ‘feel better’?

Understand my heart, these things aren’t bad. Using the Internet, shopping, watching TV, food…it’s ok. It’s the balance that is off for me. I need to seek God FIRST, then everything else will be in balance. When I over partake in any of those things, I need to ask myself, “Am I seeking to find fullness of joy and fullness of life my own way?” 

And I need to be honest when I hear the answer.

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